About The Concert Guru

Born into a family of wealth, Jim Rock lived the life of extravagance. Nonstop drugs, sex, and rock n’ roll. In fact, during his days at Yale, he was rumored to do more coke than even George C. Bush (The King of Coke). Partying with celebrities, and traveling the world in first class, it was the life of a King. Then one day his dream life came crashing down. A hip injury in the International Rock, Paper, Scissors Championships forced him out of the finals. In a deep depression with suicidal thoughts, Jim decided to study with a famous Guru to find the meaning of life. After 30 years he found it. He changed his name from Jim to The Concert Guru. He has now dedicated his entire life to answer the mystical and mundane questions about Concerts.

To ask The Concert Guru a question, please email concertguru@theconcertgoer.com. Please keep in mind he lives in the hills, and rarely checks his email. Responses usually take 2-3 months.

Guru-

This doesn’t have to do with Concerts. But, I need to know, did OJ Simpson do it, and will USC beat the spread against the Corn Huskers? Scott, Birnkrant Dorm, USC

Scott-

I have mediated on this seriously. I have come to the following conclusions: 1) If the glove don’t fit, you gotta acquit. 2) USC will thrive off the passing game to cover the spread. Know this like the sun will rise. The Concert Goer.