About The Concert Guru

Born into a family of wealth, Jim Rock lived the life of extravagance. Nonstop drugs, sex, and rock n’ roll. In fact, during his days at Yale, he was rumored to do more coke than even George C. Bush (The King of Coke). Partying with celebrities, and traveling the world in first class, it was the life of a King. Then one day his dream life came crashing down. A hip injury in the International Rock, Paper, Scissors Championships forced him out of the finals. In a deep depression with suicidal thoughts, Jim decided to study with a famous Guru to find the meaning of life. After 30 years he found it. He changed his name from Jim to The Concert Guru. He has now dedicated his entire life to answer the mystical and mundane questions about Concerts.

To ask The Concert Guru a question, please email concertguru@theconcertgoer.com. Please keep in mind he lives in the hills, and rarely checks his email. Responses usually take 2-3 months.

Guru-

I went to a concert that a friend of mine was going to. The problem is the reception sucked, so I missed seeing my friend. What should I do? Armel, Glendale California

Armel-

I had a similar problem, but it was in the Amazon. We were doing smoke signals to the tribe down the river. The wind was so heavy that signals were not clear, and tribe down the river didn’t get the message. Because of that, that tribe missed the In-and-Out mobile van. It was a travesty. Due to that forgettable moment, we came up with a method were put the message in the bottle, and put it in the river. Mediate on this. The Concert Guru.