About The Concert Guru

Born into a family of wealth, Jim Rock lived the life of extravagance. Nonstop drugs, sex, and rock n’ roll. In fact, during his days at Yale, he was rumored to do more coke than even George C. Bush (The King of Coke). Partying with celebrities, and traveling the world in first class, it was the life of a King. Then one day his dream life came crashing down. A hip injury in the International Rock, Paper, Scissors Championships forced him out of the finals. In a deep depression with suicidal thoughts, Jim decided to study with a famous Guru to find the meaning of life. After 30 years he found it. He changed his name from Jim to The Concert Guru. He has now dedicated his entire life to answer the mystical and mundane questions about Concerts.

To ask The Concert Guru a question, please email concertguru@theconcertgoer.com. Please keep in mind he lives in the hills, and rarely checks his email. Responses usually take 2-3 months.

Guru-

I waited in line for 30 minutes for a beer that cost $9.95. I get to my seat, and some piece of shit knocks it over. I wanted to punch the Fucker. I didn’t. What should I do next time? Will, New York New York

Will-

Praised be you for your control. Control is key, especially in thumb wrestling. Next time your beer falls, consider that an offering to the Holy One as supplication for a former transgression. The Holy causes events for us to learn and grow. The Concert Guru. 1/14/07