About The Concert Guru

Born into a family of wealth, Jim Rock lived the life of extravagance. Nonstop drugs, sex, and rock n’ roll. In fact, during his days at Yale, he was rumored to do more coke than even George C. Bush (The King of Coke). Partying with celebrities, and traveling the world in first class, it was the life of a King. Then one day his dream life came crashing down. A hip injury in the International Rock, Paper, Scissors Championships forced him out of the finals. In a deep depression with suicidal thoughts, Jim decided to study with a famous Guru to find the meaning of life. After 30 years he found it. He changed his name from Jim to The Concert Guru. He has now dedicated his entire life to answer the mystical and mundane questions about Concerts.

To ask The Concert Guru a question, please email concertguru@theconcertgoer.com. Please keep in mind he lives in the hills, and rarely checks his email. Responses usually take 2-3 months.

Guru-

As an alcoholic I find myself often drinking a lot at concerts. I usually drink so much that I run out of money, and have no money for Food. Your wisdom is greatly appreciated. Tom, Silicon Valley California

Tom-

Running out of money is a source of great pain in our materialist world. I once was on a long distance call to a famous Prophet, who was about to revile a secret.. Just as he was able to revile this Truth, the phone call ended because I didn’t have any more money. Because of that, I needed an additional 12 years in the Himalayas to learn this Truth. The lesson to be learned is two-fold. I will give the first fold: Call Collect! Applied to your situation, either get a friend to buy you the booze, or give your friend some money in advance to buy food for you later. You must figure out the second lesson. The Concert Goer.